Here’s Why I Write
For as long as I can remember, I have been writing, in one form or the other. I remember sometimes spending my ten minute breaks in primary school writing short stories. I started to keep a diary by the age of 10, and I remember my first diary, because I introduced myself to all my diaries on the first page, so that my diary would know who I am and where I come from (because I am that important), kind of like in TV shows: Previously in the life of Veronika . My first diary was a tiny book with pictures of dogs on the cover, and I wrote my first page while sailing one summer; it was late in the evening and we were just about to reach our harbor for the night. From that day on I have always kept a diary, and I was always writing stories. I remember a period of my life when I used to be stuck in front of the computer screen, or with a pen and paper, writing my stories for hours and hours, sometimes the whole day and night. I remember telling myself, after many hours of writing, that’s it, time to go do something else. So I stood up, and tried to go focus on a different activity, but found myself so curious about what was going to happen in my story, so I had to go back and continue writing. My stories was nothing except day dreams, and I never had any plan for them, just wrote what ever came in to mind. I preferred to put my day dreams in print, so that I could read them again later. Some of you might read this and be like, damn she was on of those quiet, lonely, weird kids. And you know what, some days I was, and I have absolutely no problem with that, because I loved it.
My diary for me has always been the place where I analyze and discuss thoughts, feelings and situations with myself. I was never a big talker when I was younger; my writing was my way to express myself, even though nobody ever got to read it. My writing was my therapy. When ever I felt frustrated, angry, or upset, writing about it made me feel better. Some pay money for expensive psychologists (said by me who is right now studying to become one, great marketing!), and some write about their problems and worries, because everyone has problems and worries, no matter how perfect your life is on the outside, we are all fucked up and crazy in some area.
There is a reason why writing about problems and negative feelings work, and I don’t believe I am making this shit up. There is something very releasing about writing things down. Because sometimes all the thoughts and emotions in your head just takes over, and become too much, and you become stressed and confused. When I write things down I feel that I no longer need to keep it in my head, because now it’s on paper. It’s written sentence by sentence, word by word, so that I can go through it in a more organized way, and analyze what I just wrote from a different perspective than if I just keep it all in the mess in my head. Many of the decisions I took in life so far, I was able to take only after writing about them, and coming to a reasonable solution with myself.
I recently read this article about the benefits of writing, called Science Shows Something Surprising About People Who Love to Write . It basically just confirmed to me what I always knew from experience.
As I grow older I am getting better at also expressing myself in spoken words, and share my thoughts and feelings with other people; bringing my inner world to the outside. Of course sharing with others and being able to express yourself is one of the most important things in life. I have learned this by going from not being very good at this at all, to being able to share, and realize what a difference it makes to my well being. But still, there are some things in life which I believe we need to figure out on our own. We can talk about it with others, and we can listen to people’s advice, but in the end of the day, we are the ones who need to make the decisions and decide our opinions, nobody should do that for us. So at some point, we have to discuss it with ourselves. Sometimes, I feel, it might be better to not listen too much to other people, but to listen to yourself; what are you telling yourself right now? For me, I usually find that out when I write.
Through writing I can talk myself out of feeling down, I can talk myself in to going for the things I want, I can discuss with myself to make a decision, I can express myself, I can get worries and confusion out of my head, and translate anger and frustration into something more understandable and productive, and I can get dreams, memories and stories on paper to never be forgotten. This is why I love to write. This is why writing is important to me. Because through writing I get to know myself, and I believe that for everyone of us, yourself is the most important person you will ever know in life.